It has been hard for all of us and Marley. I think especially for Marley and me. Last year around this time I was pregnant with our youngest and my childhood dog passed away. I miss him dearly and missed him greatly one day. I kept imagining him following me around the house and I realized I needed a companion to love and snuggle (some life force beyond my children that I could connect with and tell all my secrets, a friend). I told my husband I needed a companion and we started looking into dogs. I took as many tests as possible to find the breed that would fit and and everyone came up with Black Russian Terrier. So i started my research, the more I read the more this breed made sense to me. Fit like a glove.
When my husband walked into the house with her in his arms I was so overwhelmed with joy. She kissed me I knew this was the beginning of a forever friendship. She'd follow me everywhere, sit in my lap, try to cheer me up after a tough day with the kiddos, Snuggled with me. Our hearts melded into one. One love, One Heart! Just like Bob Marley's song, and I knew it was true. She truly has swept me off my feet. I needed someone to love and care for, and that is exactly what I received. I find no pain in realizing this.
The last night we snuggled together on the couch as long as she could stand it and I stayed in the room until the light of day came. It was a misty/foggy morning and she wasn't doing too well. When we left for the vet she came up to the front of the car as if to say, Its okay mama I'm gonna be right here. and sat right next to me while I scratched her ears. I had washed her quilt it was all clean and warm. She laid in my arms the whole time. When she was finally at rest i realized she was finally at peace, no pain, and she seemed completely content and happy. We laid there a long time and then I covered her up for her journey.
I needed to go somewhere after that, I didn't want to go home to an empty house so I headed to the book store. I was looking for a book to give the kids from Marley. I had told our 2 year old through drawing a picture that Marley was going to visit her grandma and her grandma was going to make her feel better. Here is our house, here is her grandma's cloud, help me color the rainbow...I had gotten him a rainbow crystal for christmas so he could make rainbows with light and I told him to keep it close so Marley would know where to go, it is a map of sorts. He can use it to find the way she got to her grandmother's house whenever he wished. So I was looking for a book on rainbows, no book i liked. I was looking for a book about an animal going to grandma's house, no book I liked. Then I look up and a book is sitting right in front of me, bright and clear....titled, I kid you not: "One Love: based on Bob Marley's song" The book talks about one love, one heart, gathering as a family and everything will be alright. SOLD to the dreadlocked mama.
I came home and didn't want to get out of the car and our oldest came out and gave me an incredible huge hug and told me it was going to be okay then handed me our youngest to hug. I brought marley's quilt in smelling it all the way and sat on it to wrap Marley's gift to the boys. I wrote: To my loving family, love Lady Marley, See you Soon! I gave it to the little ones after a bath and we all sat down and read it. There is a dog in the book and every page my son pointed out Marley. At the end i turned to book over and there was a picture of Bob Marley. I explained to him that just like Lady Marley Bob believed that love heals all things. I then asked him if he wanted to hang a picture of Bob Marley in the hall way so he can remember. He agreed. So now there is a picture of Bob in the hallway to remind our family at Lady Marley and Bob believe in BIG love! As I settled down my evening and was sitting nursing my youngest. He kept lifting off my breast to look over his shoulder. Its funny because I realized this as I was imagining Lady Marley walking around the chair like she would trying to lick him and laying at my feet. I feel she was truly there. All last night she was in my dreams and we were having good times.
This morning the boys and I listened to Bob Marley and made Apfelpfannkuchen (German Apple Pancakes) to remember Marley. It was a beautiful morning.
I miss her and I know she misses us too, but I do believe she will be here again. This afternoon, as the kiddos are napping I am a bit lonely without her physically here but I know she is in my heart and soul. She truly was holding on so strong and bravely for me, I kept telling her it is ok if you need to go, mama is right here, but she wouldn't, so strong. What a lesson in life. Our brave little hero!
Apfelpfannkuchen (Marley Cakes)
4 eggs
3/4 c. Flour
3/4 c. milk
1/4 tsp. salt
2 Tbs. butter
2 med apples (sliced thin)
1/4 c brown sugar
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
pinch of ginger and nutmeg
Set oven to 400F. Place 2 Tbs of butter in a round pyrex dish, put in oven.
In a medium bowl beat eggs, flour, milk, and salt (1 min). Remove pyrex from oven.
Arrange sliced apples in bottom of dish and cover with batter.
Mix brown sugar and spices and sprinkle over batter.
Bake uncovered until puffed up and golden brown at 400F for 20-25 mins.
