Recipes! and secrets

I know I have been absent but I am working on a huge project. I will let you know my secret a bit later!

Pistachio Encrusted Halibut

1 c pistachios, shelled, roasted, salted and chopped fine

1 T butter, softened

½ lb. halibut

Linguini noodles

Truffle oil

Salt/ppr

½ c Tomato juice, nothing add

Pinch white pepper

Pinch Tarragon

1. wash halibut and dry,  rub butter into fish and cover with pistachios. Press pistachios all around fish.
2. prepare noodles, drain. Add small amount of truffle oil, salt and pepper, and toss.
3. set oven to broil, place fish on pan and put in oven. Check every 5 minutes and flip until done.
4. meanwhile, in a small sauce pan, mix tomato juice, pinch of white pepper and tarragon. Heat on med-high until reduced.
5. place fish on noodles and encircle noodles with sauce

Peas Carrots and Corn Patties

¼ pack of frozen peas and carrots

3 T corn meal

1 c water

Pinch cumin

Pinch salt and pepper

Pinch of garlic powder

Pinch of tarragon

1 egg

1. heat ¾ c water to a boil. In a measuring cup mix 3 T corn meal into ¼ c water. Make sure mixed and add to boiling water while stirring. Reduce heat to medium-low until cornmeal is thick.
2. Add peas and carrots, stir.
3. add spices, stir. Heat until vegis defrosted.
4. remove from heat and stir egg in vigorously.
5. heat small amount of butter in a cast iron pan on medium-high. Drop spoonful of mixture into pan and cover for 3 min. flip, and cover for another 3 mins. Transfer to plate. Repeat.

Chocolate Chip Vegi Bacon Pancakes

Pancake recipe

3 T Maple syrup

Chocolate chips

Smart Bacon, broken up into bits

1. Mix pancakes and add 3 T maple syrup to batter.
2. (Cook like regular pancakes). Drop 3 Spoonfuls of batter into pan, sprinkle desired amount of chocolate chips, sprinkle smart bacon on top, flip.

Butternut risotto

2 C brown rice, cooked

½ c coconut milk

½ pack frozen butternut squash

Large pinch of Nutmeg

Large pinch of rosemary, broken up between fingers

½ c shredded parmesan cheese

Salt/ pepper

1. add coconut to brown rice after rice has finished cooking. Set stove to medium and stir.
2. add butternut squash, stir.
3. add nutmeg and rosemary. Salt and pepper to taste
4. add cheese. Cook until liquid finished and cheese melted

.......because you got to the bottom of this, I am making cloth diapers for my lil bug.

Adventures in Potty Training, Starring The Poo Flinging Monkey

Preface

Potty training. Ya know, I thought that getting my toddler to fall asleep the whole night was hellacious. Well, to be honest, I still think it was and I try desperately to not make the mistakes I thought I did with him with our youngest. So far it has paid off...but the opossite issue I had with Post has arisen lately. Post had no problem napping and every problem sleeping through the night. Xire has developed a problem taking naps and sleeps great through the night. This is because, this lil bug is still sick. I digress.
Potty Training.
An Idea occurred to me: Why give stickers or snacks for going potty? Why not a reminder reward?
A temporary old school tattoo.
So every time our son goes potty like a big boy, he gets a tattoo. A Potty Tattoo. He knows why he gets them and I think it can serve as a reminder to go to the potty. Plus, my son looks like a bad ass Potty Prince. Like mama and papa, covered in tattoos.

Scene

Loud Jungle noises arise from behind the door.
What is going on in there? Sounds like the same non-sense as usual: monkey business.
Hours upon hours this rambunctious behavior ensues in the trembling ears of listeners, ease-dropper, ear-gawkers, in the middle of the afternoon. Babies are held and shushed to sleep as bursts of loudness empty out of the room.
It sounds to outsiders like the primate is trying to communicate with his mother. Where is she? Probably, trying to sleep somewhere in another room...Or not at all, with all this commotion.
The mama Ape enters the scene, grumbling and tired from an afternoon of planned rest lost to the mid-day hootenanny of her child, she opens the door. An over powering smell of fecal matter fills the air. Furniture has been re-arranged, clothing and blankets strewn around the room (covered in the same brown matter as the smell), toys displaced in corner and crannies (hiding from the stench).
SQUISH!
The mama ape lifts up her foot while a look of sheer disgust wipes across her face. The little monkey leaps at the mother with glee, she has returned.
'see mama I have cleaned it up, aren't I a good little monkey?.....'

Hilarious I am sure. I quickly swept Post up, deposited him into the tub, grabbed 3 wipe-ies. Three, did i seriously think that was enough to fulfill the cleaning of this mess: walls, door, drawers, drapes, bed, floor...Covered! While Xire was screaming his head off and Post wanting desperately to escape the tub, mama successfully cleaned the room, leaving a quarter bottle of vinegar and a pile of Clorox wipes behind. One wash later, the house was seemingly at a balance, as balanced as it could be with a sleepless toddler and mama roaming around the digs.
I explained to my brother as I was cleaning up: I really shouldn't be upset, I should just be excited with anticipation that one day I won't have to change his diapers anymore. He doesn't like the feeling of his diaper being dirty, so he takes it off. Some drops on the floor, and my son happens to be a very tidy kid, so he collects what he can to clean it up. Really, in retrospect, he is being very very good.
So that was yesterday.
The day before yesterday, my brother had headed out of town to head home after a short visit. About an hour later I am heading out the house with 2 lil ones to rescue him. His engine died and went to heaven. My poor brother has been stranded here in Utah almost the whole week and practically his whole vacation time.
So
Colorado! Holy Smokes, no pun intended. My lovely home sate is up in flames. My parents have been on pre-evacuation for a number of days. The Waldo canyon fire has claimed 16.5k acres as of this morning. For up dates check geoMAC and InciWeb. On top of this my brother was 2 mi from the High Park Fire in Fort Collins, Co where he lives. So back to my folks, they decided to come out here to escape the fire and help my brother with his car situation. O, adding to this, a day or two before the were under pre-evacuation, a water main broke and flooded the basement of their house. Hows all that for bad luck.
Alright, enough of that.
loves-ies and kissies

Tie Dye Rasta Lion

pack-n-play sheet for Xire's crib

My best Lady, Jenna, and I bought dye to tie dye Post's onesies when he was one month old.
Never happened.
So I got on a kick today. I love dying garments so I stretched on my rubber gloves and got to work. Kids think this is a crazy fun activity so make sure the clothes they are wearing are alright to get stained. Adults can get a little more serious about their creations, hence the lion.
Here is how you can create this bad boy. I like Rit dyes but you can use which ever brand you like. You can get Rit at the grocery store on the same isle as bleach.

You are going to need:
 red dye (make sure you get a red-red it can turn a bit purple if you get an untrue red color)
yellow dye (golden yellow is a great choice here)
green dye (my green was an earth green, it has a bit of blue in it)
3 squeeze bottles (you can get them at the craft store, ours are from the candy section )
Hot water
Rubber gloves
Rubber Bands
cotton garment or material in which you would like to dye
plastic bin or metal sink
baby gate, cookie cooling rack, metal grate (anything with a bunch of wholes in it)
Cold Water
mild laundry detergent
Plastic store bags (recycle recycle recycle)
microwave
simple picture of a lion to work off of
and Reggae Music ;D

**here are some videos and links to get your bearing:
How to tie dye a smiley face
How to tie dye a heart
Rit Tie Dying
Note: you don't need top soak your shirt in soda ash

1. fold your picture of a lion in half. you are making a symmetrical face so you only need to know what one side looks like. you don't need awesome drawing skins to create this.

2. fold you garment in half as seen in videos above. Draw out half of your lion face with your kiddos washable marker. Don't add too much detail because it will get lost. Think outline, eyes, nose and chin/mouth.
3. As seen in the smiley face video, gather for the eye. the only thing you should not pay attention to in this video is how to make the mouth.
4. Next, as seen in the heart video, for the nose (just the triangle part of the nose)
5. Next, as seen in the heart video, gather the outline of the head. As he says, make sure this is a straight line when you are done so the the rubber band does it's job.
6. Next find your chin/mouth line and gather it into a straight line, using information you learned in the heart video.
7. now that the face is done, take mental note of what this looks like so when you are dying you know what part you are working with.
8. in an accordion manner, gather the material around the face, and rubber band where you think the mane should stop. Accordion the rest of the material and rubber band as you please
9. dunk garment in water and ring out.
10. I only had a child's gate. hahaha what a mom. So, place the child's gate over your plastic bin. you are essential creating the work place as seen in the videos.
11. place 4 T of liquid dye or 1/2 pack of powder dye in a squeeze bottle. Pour 2 c of blazing hot water from your faucet into bottle. repeat for each color.
12. Put on gloves, remember the face part, dye it red. The mane, yellow. The outer area, green.
13. place dyed garment in a plastic shopping bag. Twist the bag to close. Place this bag in another bag and twist to close.
14. As read in the Rit Tie Dye Section, place garment in the microwave for to minutes. I checked mine every 1 minute because I wanted to make sure it didn't explode.
15. Let it sit for an hour or two: make dinner, bathe the kiddos, put them to bed. Okay, now go out side to the hose and open your bag and remove garment. Recycle your bags
16. rinse the dye out until clear with cold water. remove rubber bands, and rinse again. Make sure water rung out of garment is clear.
17. wash garment in mild detergent and dry in drier on high.
18. Ta-DA!!!!!

Love love love and Blessings!

Lego Boat!

So still absent. Completely preoccupied with the lil one being sick, packing up the house, and searching the internet for places to live.

Walked in the living room the other day and Post had built a "boat". Everything he builds with Legos is a boat....until today when he told me the creature he built was a duck. I saw it. It was there. Quack!
Back to the other day. I couldn't for the life of me wrap my mind around how he figured out how to build this thing. Super complicated i thought for a lil 2 yr. old. I give him lots of props for patience and working through his frustration. I am proud. Check it out!

 That night i made an amazing Pizza. I love it. So good. Snarffed 4 pieces, all the corners with the crust. This concoction had stuffed honey and goat cheese crust.
Took some pointers from the recipe in SOS pg 240 for portabello caramelized onion and goat cheese pizza.

Mine....All fresh ingredients here. Even used the canned tomatoes my grandfather canned and gave me to make the sauce. OOOHHHHHHH so good! I speak of canned tomatoes in the recipe, you can use store bought.

Mushroom Caramelized Onion and Goat cheese pizza with stuffed crust (honey and goat cheese)
Pizza Crust (after mix let it rise in bowl in oven covered with plastic wrap)
1/2 Onion, caramelized in butter
3 mushrooms, chopped small
4 oz chevre goat cheese, chopped with a butcher knife (this will get you multiple different sizes of goat yumminess)
1 c canned whole tomatoes, chopped (do not include juice from the can, juice from the tomatoe you chopped is fine)
1 t dried rosemary, broken apart with fingers
2 t basil
salt/pepper, fresh ground
pinch of minced garlic, ~ 1 small clove
pinch of onion powder
honey
butter

Preheat oven to 450 F
caramelize an onion
I have failed at this multiple times, either I had the heat too high, didn't stir enough, or wasn't watching my pan after the onions started to turn. Here is how you can be successful at caramelizing onions. Place 1-2 T unsalted butter in a pan. turn to medium. Once butter in melted add finely chopped onions. move onions around occasionally with a 'flat spatula.' Once the onions start turning yellow you are going to want to watch them closely. keep stirring them until they are a dark golden brown. Do Not burn them, it will ruin your dish. A good indicator that you are close to being done is that your butter is gone. I don't include time this takes because it depends on your pan and your stove.
1. when onions are a beautiful golden color add your mushrooms to the pan and cook it all together for about 2-3 minutes. Mushrooms will be brown and onions will be a bit darker. remove from heat and set aside
2. Meanwhile, make your sauce.
Homemade red sauce
combine chopped tomatoes, rosemary, basil, garlic, and onion powder in a microwave safe bowl and mix. (you can do this in a sauce pan over med-high heat and reduce the liquid down. I am going to zap mine in the micro because I am a mama and need to save time-o) Salt and pepper to your liking. zap in microwave on high for 2 minute. stirring each minute. It may take longer with some micros. You just want your liquid reduced.
3. roll out your dough until it is 1/4" all over.
How to stuff crust
You can do this with whatever your favorite stuffed crust may be. Here we are doing honey and goat cheese so....About an inch from the edge make a line of honey around the pizza. Make is a think generous line, because honey is good, good for you, and goat cheese is great with it. on top of your honey make a line of goat cheese. Fold over your dough until it just covers your filling and press it into the base dough. you can use a fork for this too. Make sure that all the filling is covered all the way around.
4. Spread red sauce on dough base. Top with caramelized onions and mushrooms. Top that with goat cheese. Move ingredients around to make it all even. Next, I sprinkled a bit of basil  on top.
5. Pop pizza in oven on a pan or pizza stone. It is best to work on them anyway. bake for about 10 min. and check. you want the crust to be golden. When done pull out and rub crust with butter so it doesn't harden too much.
Enjoy

shoulda stuffed my crust more...yummy

Poor lil Xire is still sicky-poo. At least he isn't waking every 2 hrs in the night. I love my sleep and was used to it. he is still cute when he is sick

Tonight: had no cream so i used coconut milk

Artichoke Asparagus Caramelized onion Egg Pie
1 Frozen Pastry
1/2 onion, chopped and caramelized (refer to above recipe for how to caramelize onions)
2 c asparagus, chopped into 1/4" pieces
1/3 c artichoke hearts, chopped
1 1/2 t tarragon
pinch of garlic powder
3 eggs
1 c coconut milk
1/2 c milk
3/4 cup cheese grated


Preheat 350 F
1. prepare frozen pie shell according to instructions
2. when caramelized onions are golden, and heat is still on the burner, add asparagus, artichoke, tarragon, and garlic powder. Cook until butter and moisture are gone. remove from heat and set aside.
3. In a bowl beat eggs until fluffy, add coconut milk, and milk. Salt and pepper to your liking. beat again until fluffy. Add cheese and pour into pastry shell
4. Bake about 35 minutes or until golden. Sprinkle tarragon on top and let cool for 5 min.

Too Darn Hot!

So for the past 3 weeks or something, I have been singing this song. And by the way, this is THE best version of this song. Ella Rocks It! It feels so good to sing, just right down there in your sexy vocal chords. Oh My God! Just the sexiest song around!
So my AC has been broken until today! and that is why I have been so absent. Just too darn hot, to cook!
;)
But today! I cooked and today.....I failed horribly. Or maybe the recipe was just bonk. I'm not gonna go into that too much. It was just all the flavors disappeared, especially the cheese.

Cheese in America is far too often overshadowed by ___________. It is like we have no idea how to treat cheese and eat cheese and appreciate it. It needs to be treated just like Wine and on that note with wine or beer.
So I decided the filling is so much better fresh than in the little pies. Besides....it's too darn hot, for something warm. Let's go fresh!
Had to throw this together when I returned from the doctors office at 5p....then just ate filling.

Butternut Fontina Stuffing
1 1/2 c frozen butternut squash, defrosted and drained completely of water
1 c corn
1/2 lb fontina cubed
1 Smoked (vegi) Sausage broken up
Large pinch of nutmeg
salt and Pepper

1. mix together and enjoy! I did!

So here is a note, I have for 3 years racked my brain on how to get a teenager in good self-esteem. It is a hard one cuz every teenager is different. Ours seems to misunderstand many things on why things are ran the way they are in our house. And I give him credit in that it is difficult to explain and complicated. So one thing is it isn't we want to lock him in a dungeon it is just there is one parent in the house to care for all three boys, ages ranging from 16-2months. And that person is me. It is all up to my capacity, what I can do. So as much as he would love me to fall asleep and allow him to be out all night...and i would love to fall asleep and not wake until the youngest needs to be fed, it isn't gonna happen. It is a lesson I didn't understand until I was 20 or 21. I had gone to a get together and told my father I would be home at about 1a. I was in college, visiting for the summer, an adult. I didn't come home until maybe 2 or 3a to find my dad waiting for me. I told him he could have gone to bed and he said,
"I love you and i am always gonna stay up for you. It isn't that I don't want you to go out it is just you are my daughter and I worry about you and want to see you get home safe."
I then understood. A parent can't change it, once a parent always a parent.
Anywho, I am getting beside the point.
It is time for our eldest to care for his younger brother from time to time....and get paid.
Perhaps if he felt he was part of the family and cared and had a responsibility that benefited us all he would feel a sense of accomplishment. And so,
Today when I needed to take our youngest to the doctors because the poor lil bug has a bug at such a young age, this ended up being my game plan. Nothing too strenuous just waking Post up from a nap and feeding him a snack and playing with him: $5/hour. It is not going to be all the time. Only in emergencies or tight pinches that I use this card, for both of their sakes. Besides they need some bonding time. After all they are brothers.

So I am exhausted. In dire need of a mental break and emotional break. It is way too hard to see my lil bug sick: getting xrays, deep snot suctioning, nebulizer machines that don't seem to work. I am ready and i pray for his health to return.
Actually, stop here: Both the little ones' health to return.
Post had a shot last friday for Hep A and the next night and following day had a fever of about 102.5. I so hate vaccinations but I am a slave to worry and am terrified of not giving them. I also think that no matter how much I try to wrap my mind around them it just is a big hole of questions I can't fill with enough info to understand. This is where there should be parenting classes for Children Years 0-5 Health: 101.

I don't really know what day it is. What my children's symptoms are. What the news is saying or.....did I eat lunch? Have I eaten today?......

Space food!

Things have been rough on Green St. Super rough. I suppose I need to lower my expectation that, perhaps, one day all 3 boys will be good to me. It is not going to happen though so far only one day has been fulfilled. Today was forecast for:
Moody teenager throughout the day with a 90% chance of cold shoulder,
Helpful and nice-to-his-younger-brother toddler sunshine as the day goes on,
And a chance of I'm-sick-mama...hold-me from the lil guy
It wasn't too rough, because after a battle with the eldest of the gentlemen last night, I am too exhausted to, honestly, care what the weather says. And, today mama needed a reward for her hard work: I bought a long deserved and coveted Goldfish plant.

It doesn't look like this yet, but in full bloom it looks like this

Yesterday, Post and I made space food for dinner. This is the only title I was able to come up with for this dish: Space Food.

It came out good and if the toddler eats it then it must be satisfactory.

Savory Sweet Beets and Okra over Grits

1 Beets, chopped

2 Nectarines, halved browned *

2 okras, chopped

3 T water

4 T Butter

1/2 t Nutmeg

1/4 t Cumin

1/4 t Coriander

1 t fresh Ginger, grated

Salt and pepper

Grits

Browning Nectarines

1 T butter in a skillet, melt. When butter hot add nectarines face down. Cook for about 2 minutes until caramelized and remove from heat and cover. Remove skins when semi-cooled

1. boil chopped beets in 3 T water covered for 5 minutes or until water is gone.
2. meanwhile, in a small sauce pan melt 4 T butter on medium. Add okra and cook for 5 minutes. Add nutmeg, cumin, and coriander. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 2 minutes. Add ginger and cook for 2 minutes. Add beets and turn off heat.
3. Prepare grits.
4. chop nectarines into bite sized chunks. Add to okra and beets
5. serve atop grits and salt and pepper to liking 

Our grits are stirred in but we agreed it would be better atop grits

This evening we made Asian cuisine. It is a cheats recipe. Super easy

Vegetable Udon and Egg
1 Pack of Wide Udon noodles, prepares
1/4 pack of frozen vegi mix
1/4c water
3 T light Soy Sauce
3 T Teriyaki Sace
2 t Ginger, grated
2 eggs
sesame oil
sesame seeds

1.cook Udon noodles
2. Add Water and Vegi mix to a skillet. On Medium heat cook until defrosted. Add Soy Sauce and Teriyaki sauce and ginger. Cook for about 5 minutes until liquid is evaporated. Transfer to a plate or bowl to keep warm. Turn off skillet and leave on burner.
3. add a tiny bit of oil to skillet and crack eggs into pan. Cover and leave for about 5 or until cooked to liking. Some pans may require you leave the heat on low. I have my handy dandy cast iron skillie so it keeps heat really well.
4. Drain noodles and serve to plate topped with vegis and egg. Garnish with sesame oil and sesame seeds

Liar Liar pants on fire!

We have all told our share of lies and we have all been equally lied to. We have all stretched the truth to tell a story, though technically it isn't the truth anymore and therefore can be chalked up to a lie.
Once when I was a teenager, I snuck out with my boyfriend. I had been doing it for a long time and was pretty darn good at it. Only thing I didn't realize was the more often I did it the closer I was to being caught. See I thought i was the worlds best liar. I had my ducks in a row, i thought: good grades, home on time when asked, did my chores, coached lacrosse, etc. etc. I mean I would go the whole 9 yds. to be able to sneak out. Winter posed a huge problem, snow. So when I arrived home from school that day, I grabbed the dog and chased him in the field next to the house to make foot prints in order to hide the ones I was gonna make later. I pushed it. waited and waited for my parents to go to bed, and cut it close. I had a bad feeling but I was living on the edge and decided to take my chances, not thinking of what I would ever do come I get caught. So i left the house, ran through the field, and hoped in my boyfriends car. As we got to the top of the road I saw a car come around the corner that looked like my dads, hesitated and then decided to go on. We headed to his house in the town south of mine and continued with our evening. At some point in the night my boyfriend wakes up because his dad is calling him from around the corner. They leave to converse and I lazily check my phone (Another intuition....). My parents had gotten me this cell phone a couple weeks before, told me to take it everywhere, and I debated...do i take it when I sneak out or do i leave it? what are the consequences of both. Something was telling me I was busted (did my parents contact his parents? is that why he was coming to talk to his son?) I think it was though I have never asked for the answer. There were a bunch of calls from my parents. I turned stone cold!
"We gotta go!"
We hopped in the car, as I frantically searched my mind for the very best lie. As we arrive in town I tell my boyfriend to go the back way to the dirt roads near the house. A snow was falling lightly from the sky.
"stop the car. (opened the door) I will see you later."
I stepped out into a thin layer of snow and watched him drive away. I waited about 2 minutes and then called my parents.
"I'm alright, come pick me up, I am on Mt. Herman."
They picked me up and brought me home. Here is where my most guilty lie came out. To this day I still get a cringe that I even told it and believed that I was hurting no one. What I didn't realize was, although I had made a pact to dig the deepest grave and come out on the other side of the earth where they could never prove anything, I was going to have to sell my soul and conclusively hurt myself. So i still get sick when I remember. I mean I really get acidity in my stomach, a cold sweat, etc. That is when i went to far in telling a lie to my family.
"I blacked out. Woke up on the bench next to the rock."
The rock was Monument Rock at the base of Mt. Herman, and you have to take a trail there. I have PTSD and have since I was 12 years old. There is no point in going in to details about how but there is an importance to the symptoms I have had in relation to it. one symptom: I used to blackout and find myself functioning somewhere else in town. It was as though I was watching myself on a movie screen from atop a cloud. Stress always triggered it. Whether it be a fight or a nervous conversation or a date or a test coming up. And once I became stressed there was a snowball effect to how much and to what i would stress out over. To this day it still happens. I go to my happy place on the cloud where I am safe and no one can get me, I know I go there because I can feel it and have learned to be able to control it, in most circumstances, to not completely blackout. I won't remember what is said and i go into complete fight mode, like an animal being cornered. I feel like one. Like I am being attacked.
So my parents know about these blackouts because at that time in my life I was working very hard on them to control them and other symptoms. It was a cheap shot to them and to myself. I knew it was my only card and I played it.
"But you're not wet from the snow or cold."
"I don't know what happened I just woke up at the rock."
That is the extent of it. And I pledged to dig the deepest hole so i would never have to tell the truth and get in trouble for it.
I was grounded for 2 weeks while my parents did some gum shoeing. There were other events and they aren't as important as the fact that i got off scott free.....but I had sold my soul. And now I can't lie without a deep sickening feeling.

This is something teenagers haven't figured out. That you can and will hurt yourself if you lie. It is something that as parents we have already learned and we are desperately trying to get our kids to understand.
There are so many things i want to be as a parent. and I will probably post all those things as I go along. But one thing recently. I read that Haile Selassie I, emperor of Ethiopia 1930-1974, never showed anger or irritation or nervousness or rage or frustration. "It seemed that he never knew such states" (pg 6, "The Emperor" by Kapuściński). I value this, I want to be this. Just a thought.

Motherhood is a fierce ocean. Where we are just trying to stay afloat, be the calm to the storm. Storm clouds are up over head. but there is a break in the clouds and sun is shining through in the shape of a heart. Amor Vincit Omnia. Love conquers all.